Thursday, October 21, 2004


In addition to the Red Sox keeping me up the last four consecutive nights, making it difficult for me to focus on anything else when I've been at home (those times I've actually been home, mind you), I've struggled a bit recently with insomnia. This is something that comes and goes with me - I just go through periods where I'm not sleeping much for whatever reasons. Usually the problem is a matter of my mind trying (and failing) to work something out - a problem of some sort that I'm wrapped up in almost to the exclusion of everything else. Sometimes it's a personal issue, other times it might be work, or a problem with a friend, or maybe I'm worried about something that has happened, will happen, might happen, might never happen, etc.

I've tried just about all the usual remedies for insomnia:

- bad television (sadly, not too effective anymore)

- music (inevitably, if part of the problem is that I'm wrapped up in a personal issue, I'll start singing along - this is not necessarily a good thing...this is how one ends up with Matthew Sweet songs in their head for days)

- getting up and out of bed (sadly, never really has worked for me)

- switching from a bed to a couch (once upon a time, this worked for me - not anymore)

- reading (never worked for me - I either can't get interested or else I'm too interested)

- internet (sometimes works...sometimes keeps me way too interested and ends up keeping me awake longer than I would necessarily have been)

- let the obsession beast out of the cage (if I'm obsessing about something/someone/etc., this is often the remedy I end up choosing - not that it helps much, or at all)

- drinking (often the only surefire solution - as bad as that sounds - probably not good to make a habit of this one)

All of this is meant as a prelude to say that I've been experiencing insomnia this week. Each night it's been a different thing keeping me awake and almost none of my remedies have worked. Not fun. Running out of steam earlier in the days and there's only so much coffee I can drink without wanting to flip out.

Worse, yesterday reinforced the notion that I really don't know what to do with myself when I'm alone and have nothing to do. Yesterday, I got up and was out of bed by 9am (ish), went and had coffee and read some of my book, went to Borders and Best Buy (bought nothing - looked and couldn't find anything I wanted), went to a used bookstore, went to the movies (avoid Sky Captain at all costs - almost walked out) and was generally bored to tears. I almost (...almost...) would have preferred to come in to the office yesterday instead.

And today motivation is at an extreme low. Can't muster up any enthusiasim for anything. Suggestions will be appreciated. ;)


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